I continue to be completely captivated by New Moon. Which is kind of ironic considering New Moon was my least favorite book in the Twilight Series. I guess I can best describe my feelings for the book by comparing it to a love-hate relationship. While I hated the fact that Edward leaves and remains absent for much of the book, I love that he makes a triumphant return in one of the greatest endings to a book I have ever read. And while I missed Edward terribly, I was able to relate to Bella on a very emotional level. I know all to well the severe pain of heartbreak. I felt and could relate to every aspect of her pain. I like to joke that I slipped into a deep state of depression while reading New Moon. I tell people how it was almost like I myself had been left by my one true love. I was experiencing such intense feelings of loss. It was completely insane and yet, I loved every minute of it. It is such an amazing experience to read something so palpable and understand it down to your core. Edward's absence and Bella's depression throughout the book make for such an emotional and powerful moment when they finally come together once again. It is without a doubt my favorite moment in the book. And now, it is my favorite moment in the movie. My words could never do justice to the moment when Bella jumps into Edward's arms and Edward whispers, "Heaven" into her ear. I love that quote. It will probably go down as my favorite movie quote of all time. I love it for so many different reasons. In that one quote, the movie captures what being with Bella truly means to Edward.And Edward's love for Bella is what captures me and makes these books mean so much to me. Everyone wants to know why. Why is there such a frenzy surrounding these books and movies? Why do people love them so much? What is the secret? It is different for everyone. People connect to the story in numerous ways and on many different levels. However, for me, it has always been Edward's love for Bella. It isn't the fact that he is a vampire. Or that he is strong and almost indestructible. It isn't the fact that he always seems to say the perfect things. Or even because of his perfect appearance. My love for these books comes from the idea that one individual can love another so completely. It is something that I want more than anything in the world, to be loved, exactly as I am. And it is for this reason that Bella and Edward's story is my favorite love story of all time and why, even after all the hype, Twilight remains my favorite book.
Twilight came to me during a very difficult time in my life. A time in which I loved someone who did not feel the same about me. A time when I lacked self-confidence and self-worth. A time in which I felt hopeless and very much alone. It allowed me to escape and brought me hope. And even still, in times when I feel like I'll never be good enough, like no one will ever love me, I think about Bella in all her imperfections and how Edward loves her so completely.
The Twilight Series will always hold a special place in my heart. Even years from now, wherever life finds me, when the hysteria has died down and a new phenomenon has swept over us all, I will think back upon this time and be grateful that I could experience something truly special.
